Death: The Great Equalizer

I was speaking with a friend this evening about grief and the pain of loss. Grief is a great equalizer. Fame, fortune, popularity… none of them help one bit with grief. No matter how successful a person is in their career or life, loss still hits them just as hard as it hits everyone else in the world.

In the same way, all that fame, fortune, success and popularity mean NOTHING at the gates of heaven when we ourselves die. The only thing that matters or makes a difference is one’s faith. The only thing I have found that has lessened the pain of loss, the shattering feeling of despair and horror of life without the one we love… is my faith in God and His absolute wisdom and love for me. I know that my husband is with God, and that is a gift that keeps me going. I know he is in Heaven- a place more glorious than anything we can imagine- and that is comfort. I also know that I will see him once again, and that helps calm my shattered soul. Someday, when my time to die comes- and it will- I will be with those I love, and that also comforts me. If we don’t ever experience the pain of loss, how can we feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit of God? Screaming, “Why?” doesn’t give us any answers.

Accepting that this is God’s Holy Will has been a gift that has kept me sane and helped heal my heart. Others may deal with death in an entirely different way- or maybe they just don’t deal with it at all… but death is our final destination no matter who we are or how successful or unsuccessful our lives have been. Death is THE great equalizer.

Our society is in complete denial about the eventuality of death in our journey. I know, because I felt that way myself at one time. I also know this because I see people who won’t approach me or the subject of my losses because it is a slap in their face- if it could happen to me, it could happen to them. Wake up, world. We are all on a precious journey that is fragile and precipitous. The end of the journey is the death of our mortal body. Am I ready should it come knocking at my door? Are you? That is the question of the day. Pretending it just isn’t going to happen to ME is ridiculous and makes our pain of loss that much worse. My friend lost her entire family very tragically. She said to me that some people ask, “Why Me?” but she has come to the realization that for her it is, “Why NOT me?” Is being a good person enough to lessen the pain? No, I don’t think so. Death levels that playing field we all run on so that no one has an advantage. We are all heading toward that final destination and if we have not embraced our faith, really, will there ever be any comfort for our souls when we lose someone else or even our own life?



  1. Linda Finke

    Ann–it has been 2 years since you sent this. So sorry. I have a love hate thing going on with my computer.

    I have ready access to my picture you drew. If you want to see it or come and talk and let me know what your plans are I would love to see you. I live near ND.

  2. When I Lost My Daughter it was so Devestating and heartfelt She was just going to the Store right up the road from our house, it affected me to the point I lost my faith i went thru so much anger I don’t even know me anymore I hate the anger I feel, She has a daughter who was only 2 and a half years old and now is 5 She asks questions about her Mommie alot We Miss Her Soo Much… I have enjoyed reading You Stuff it gives me great Comfort

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